BSOEF

I don't have nay ccj's but I tried to open bank accounts and tried loans but I couldn't get anything. I've got 2 credit cards I could only get them with the help of my mother. I can't fail to pay but I can't do anything that will give her a bad name (such as contacting debt consolidating companies or filling for bankruptcy) as she is responsible for one of my credit cards (one is £8000 other is £800).

I heard about zopa but I can't have another loan to pay.I need to pay just 1.
I need to save money to invest in my artistic career.I need money to go ahead with things and what I earn is not enough to pay for everything and still be able to save.
my mother won't help me.she doesn't care, believe me.

wha would you do?
please help me. what other way have I got other than suicide?!

if you're gonna criticise me please don't bother to reply as I'm already depressed.
i've graduated but that wouldn't help most probably
any private company or people lending?